Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
