All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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