I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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