He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
