I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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