My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
