Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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