just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
