No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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