would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
