Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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