It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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