I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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