What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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