I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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