i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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