also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
