i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
