So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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