I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
