Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize