you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
