Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
