We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
