you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
