I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
