last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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