shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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