I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
