i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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