that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
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