Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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