Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
