a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
