I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
