she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize