check it out our google latitudes are spooning
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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