I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
