All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize