And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize