i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
