Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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