i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
