i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
