whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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