just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
