It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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