That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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