what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
