You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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