Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
