Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
