why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
