Im at strip club and am horny
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
