im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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