I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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