would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
