jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
