mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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