Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
