haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
