just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
