we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
did i just pee glitter
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
