..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
