I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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