It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize