Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
