Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
