But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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