tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
