remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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